When the Smash Hit Band Plays (co-written with Sandy Hemenway and Lea C. Ray)

Well it’s festival time! Hear the bright church bells chime
When the Smash Hit Band plays it’s a terrible crime
They invade us each year, lay assault to our ears
Their brother’s the mayor so we have to hear

Tone deaf Jim wheezes songs, Tom’s guitar limps along
And Joe’s banjo cannot play two notes that belong
Rubbing salt in the wound, Teddy’s tuba, untuned,
And Lou’s kazoo saws like cicadas in June.

Well my home is a box, just south of the docks
Though I’m down on my luck, I’m still smart like a fox
So I volunteer, each and every year
And feast like a king when Smash Hit Band appears

Chorus
Well it’s duck for your dinner, bring your earplugs and plates
When the Smash Hit Band plays there’ll be food at our gates
It’s a pot-luck of plenty—miss the show—don’t be late
When the band gets its just desserts, we’ll all eat cake

The crowd it was rough, they had had quite enough
Of the terrible noises like pigs at a trough
But they came prepared—they all brought their share
Of the year’s crop of fruit, meat and vegetable fare

The band squawked like the dead – but with helmeted heads
Tried to shield their guitars as the vegetables sped
The rich ones threw cheese, and not so old peas
Soon I was swimming in food to my knees!

They threw full canning jars and fine scotch from the bar
And an unopened can of good caviar
‘Twas like custard’s last stand when they flung fresh-made flan
When they saw frozen turkeys, the band turned and ran

Chorus

Well I’m not alone with my thrown away home
Though my friends aren’t pretty I’ll toss them a bone
I’m inviting them all to the annual ball
When the crowds toss their cookies we’ll be where the chips fall!

Last Chorus
It’s sweet upside-down cake and tossed salad too
So come you young families, yes bring the whole crew!
Bring your homeless and hungry—hard of hearing—to graze
When the Smash Hit Band flying food symphony plays
Well it’s duck for your dinner, bring your earplugs and plates
When the Smash Hit Band plays there’ll be food at our gates

Copyright Tracy S. Feldman, All rights reserved